Ms Cyprah

How the Internet is changing my life

When the Internet reached my neck of the woods 10 years ago, I was one of many people who viewed it with great curiosity, some trepidation, some excitement but even greater fear. All one heard about was the amount of porn one could get on it, the way one’s identity could be stolen and all kinds of other imaginary things which a fear of the unknown usually breeds. As with any change that takes time to sink in, I have had over 10 years of this incredible innovation and I adore it immensely because it has dramatically changed my life, my perspectives, my knowledge, my skills and me, as an individual - from a parochial person to a global one. And what a colossal journey it has been!

I love the Internet for a variety of reasons, but the 5 main ones are as follows:

1. It is a great leveller. No matter what age, gender or ability you have, the anonymity of the Internet means that you could be anyone. What you are in person doesn’t really matter. It’s what you have to share with everyone else that will get you noticed. I am 60 years old, yet on Newsvine, I might as well be 20. I am daily rubbing shoulders with brilliant 15-18 year old writers who, unless they revealed their age, have sounded as mature, competent and articulate as any experienced writer. On a terrestrial level, many younger people would perhaps see me as ‘old’, ‘finished’, not up to it. Fearing age as they do, they would project their fears on to me and rob me of a life. On the internet, my age doesn’t matter. It’s what I have to say, how I say it and the way I participate which says who I am, and that’s the way life should be. That we are whom we wish to be at any time.

2. Its incredible knowledge base. Thanks to the Internet, I have my own personal library on my computer, in my own home and at the click of a button. To have so much wealth of information available without having to go anywhere for it is just unbelievable. There is no reason for anyone to be ignorant or in the dark about life, health, wealth, education or anything. It is all there for the taking and available free of charge. What an age to be living in when knowledge is at our fingertips in such abundance.

3. Connecting with others. I find it really difficult to send things by post these days, to worry about stamps and parcelling up to send away. I have grown so used to emails now, so quick, so simple and so accessible, posting anything just seems cumbersome. Then there are all the networking sites like MySpace and Facebook which connect people from all over the world in ways that they choose. Just mind blowing in the potential for linking up with others.

4. The business potential. One can actually get filthy rich on the Internet, and in a remarkably quick time too, if one has the product - like a search engine or computers to sell! The global market means that a good idea will not only attract a rapid amount of traffic to it but also a huge amount of money from that traffic. The cumulative nature of having such global audiences means that one can easily run a business without much outlay, from anywhere in the world without having to be in the same place, and with as little resources as possible, except the time to monitor and maintain it. Really rather awesome.

5. The opportunity to date online. Being a single woman, and someone who dislikes pubs or drinking, being able to date online is fantastic. Over 8 million people in the UK are registered with dating sites here. As a woman, I find it secure, I can control the attention I get, there are lots of choices available, and all from the privacy of my home. Much better than going anywhere by myself hoping to be noticed and feeling vulnerable. The Internet has allowed me to meet lots of professionals with the same aims and aspirations, on my own terms, and to make my choices about meetings in relative obscurity without having to worry about my safety either.

The Internet has certainly changed my life in many ways, especially changing my focus, improving my knowledge, allowing me to connect with like-minded people from across the world and showing me what is still possible. My mother and grandmother could not have envisaged such a world like I am enjoying. Theirs seem so primitive now.

I am now working on being a billionaire. I can’t tell you when that will come into being, but there will be a round of celebratory drinks for all my global friends when I do! There will be fanfare and much rejoicing. Come to think of it, the sky is really my limit now, at whatever age I reach!

I think it depends on one’s culture and perspective. If one is from a culture where marriage is seen as very important, an essential part of family life, then one would not be able to avoid getting married, otherwise a lot of people would be upset about it and one would feel excluded and rejected. But in the 21st century, where more people are remaining single or living in relationships (like in the UK) than getting married, it seems that an increasing number of people don’t care about marrying anymore and prefer to live together and many of these relationships are working.

In the UK living together has risen by 30% over the past decade, while marriage has declined, in fact to its lowest figure since 1895. It is not such a stigma anymore to live together or to have children out of wedlock, so many people now please themselves in the kind of home they have. For a variety of reasons, more people are forsaking marriages, perhaps because of a lack of commitment, or for the freedom it gives to break apart at any time without worrying about the high cost of divorce. Whatever the reason, it seems to be the trend of the future.

Personally, I was married for 39 years and enjoyed it to a great degree. I liked the security it gave, the sharing and companionship, and the feeling of belonging without having to keep wondering where the relationship is heading. I have also enjoyed my freedom since leaving the marriage and would probably not get married again, all things considered. But, a part of me believes that when we love someone, unless we are prepared to show that commitment, whether for one day or 10 years, we should be married, otherwise what is that love really about?

If I met the right person, and he wanted to get married, I would certainly consider it because it would be lovely to pledge myself to someone I want in my life, for however long it lasts. I do not need a marriage certificate to show me that I love my partner, or vice versa, neither do I need to be married to appreciate the relationship. But a marriage also allows friends and family to share in that joyous occasion by declaring our love publicly, and we are all here for each other, not simply to live in a selfish way. The public pledge together gives a very strong message about how we feel for each other and the commitment we have. So I think being married would certainly give the edge for me, though I appreciate that the choice of not being married rests with the individual.