Ms Cyprah

I think it depends on one’s culture and perspective. If one is from a culture where marriage is seen as very important, an essential part of family life, then one would not be able to avoid getting married, otherwise a lot of people would be upset about it and one would feel excluded and rejected. But in the 21st century, where more people are remaining single or living in relationships (like in the UK) than getting married, it seems that an increasing number of people don’t care about marrying anymore and prefer to live together and many of these relationships are working.

In the UK living together has risen by 30% over the past decade, while marriage has declined, in fact to its lowest figure since 1895. It is not such a stigma anymore to live together or to have children out of wedlock, so many people now please themselves in the kind of home they have. For a variety of reasons, more people are forsaking marriages, perhaps because of a lack of commitment, or for the freedom it gives to break apart at any time without worrying about the high cost of divorce. Whatever the reason, it seems to be the trend of the future.

Personally, I was married for 39 years and enjoyed it to a great degree. I liked the security it gave, the sharing and companionship, and the feeling of belonging without having to keep wondering where the relationship is heading. I have also enjoyed my freedom since leaving the marriage and would probably not get married again, all things considered. But, a part of me believes that when we love someone, unless we are prepared to show that commitment, whether for one day or 10 years, we should be married, otherwise what is that love really about?

If I met the right person, and he wanted to get married, I would certainly consider it because it would be lovely to pledge myself to someone I want in my life, for however long it lasts. I do not need a marriage certificate to show me that I love my partner, or vice versa, neither do I need to be married to appreciate the relationship. But a marriage also allows friends and family to share in that joyous occasion by declaring our love publicly, and we are all here for each other, not simply to live in a selfish way. The public pledge together gives a very strong message about how we feel for each other and the commitment we have. So I think being married would certainly give the edge for me, though I appreciate that the choice of not being married rests with the individual.

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